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Subject: JOKES
Replies: 140 Views: 7444
romeio.1 2.10.10 - 04:09am
Boy-Uncle dettol soap hai kya?
Shopkeeper (naak se ungli nikalte hue)
Haan beta hai na..
Boy-Toh phir haath dhoke, 1 CREAMROLL de do =P *
zeeenat 2.10.10 - 05:33am
Tanhayi me satati he uski yad jese,
chale aate ankho me aansu wese
DAYA. pata lagao akhir ye MUNNI
Badnaam hui to hui kaise ? *
jhalak 3.10.10 - 02:17pm
hehehehhe *
bhuutni 2.01.11 - 05:41am
We have our famous friend Santa Singh qualifying for the hot seat.
(He pressed the b*ttons by accident and managed to qualify)
AB : OK Santa I congratulate you for this opportunity here with us.
Santa : Oh ji Wahe guru da khalsa wahe guru di fateh.
Chak denge phatte aj. Tusi start karo ji.
AB: To aap apne pitaji ke saath aaye hai, kya naam hai aapke pitaji ka?
Santa: Hai Jee?
AB: Kya naam hai aapke pitaji kaa?
Santa: Are sir jee, kam se kam char options to do...
AB: ufff.., ok.., leave it. Lets proceed with the game
AB : OK Santa this is your first question for 1000
Rs. - 'Which state has the largest sikh population ?' and your options are
A. Punjab
B. Punjab
C. Punjab
D. Punjab
Santa : Oh ji how much time do I've to answer this question
AB : Samay ki koi pabandhi nahi hai Santa ji, you can take your time
Santa (giggles) : Sir ji tricky sawaal puchha hai aapne. I would like to use my lifeline.
AB : I'm not surprised on this , which one wud U like to use.
Santa : Audience poll
AB : OK audience please be ready with your voting pads, and your time starts now.
After a minute we have a graphic presentation on the board.
A. 25%
B. 25%
C. 25%
D. 25%
AB : Santa ji, this is a no good situation for you, I can share your disgust here.
Santa : Yeh mere saath hi kyon hota hai. Fasa diya Sirji aapki audience ne. I think I've to use my second lifeline - 50 50.
AB : Very good ! 50 50 ka istemal karna chahenge. OK
computer ji do galat jawab mita diye jayen.
Computer displays A. Punjab and C. Punjab
Santa : Badi chalu machine hai aapki sar ji. Mein
chodoonga nahi aaj isko.
Wahe guru de kasam mereko third life line bhi chahiye.
AB : Kamal hai Santa ji, I must congratulate you, You have record of using all the lifelines in the very first question.
This is great . OK phone a friend - kisko phone karna chahen ge aap.
Santa : My one and only one... mera langotiya yaar., Banta Singh.
AB : OK Banta ko phone lagaya jaye.
Phone rings. Banta picks it ' Hulloooooo, kon hai oye
adi raati,???'
AB : Hello Banta ji , mein Amitabh Bachhan bol raha hoon Star Plus ke Kaun Banega Crorepati se.
Banta : ahhhooooooo, Bachan ji Sasriyakal, koi hor hota to uski to mein !@%&@%& kar deta, kher, Ki hal chal he sar ji.
AB : Mein thik hoon Banta ji, par ye ek family show hai is liye aap apshabdon ka prayog na karen to behtar hoga. Aapke dost yahaan bethe hain mere saath
aur.................
Banta (Interrupts) : Aur wo sala pehle hi question pe atak gaya hoga, khota hai sala. Sawal pucho ji.
AB : Aapko sirf tees second .,.............. chaliye mein aapko special case karte hue 1 minute doonga. Aur aapka samay shuru hota hai aab.
Santa : Oye bante ke ho raya hai yaar ??
Banta : oye ullu de dum, saale bahar se taala laga gaya khote. Sawere dud wala aaya si, paise mang raya si, aur khotya tu meri kameez pehen gaya. Sale chakki se aata lana tha, tera baap laye ga.
AB : Santa ji kya kar rahe hain samay khatam ho raha hai.
Santa : Yes Yes. Oye chod use yaar question hai
..................... (he tells him the question).
Banta : Saale sari zindagi tere nakal mar ke fail hota raha hoon, par iska answer mujhe aata hai.
Kalank hai tu Punjab ke naam pe . Iska answer Punjab hai lallu.
Santa : oye par ......... (and the clock stops).
AB : Samay khatam, aapke mitr ne jawab de diya hai , ab to mujhe pakka confidence hai ke aap kam se kam 1000 to le ke jayenge hi aaj.
Santa : Ullu ka patha hai ji, ye to mujhe bhi pata hai par sale ne yeh to batya nahin ke A hai ya C hai.
And this was the last episode of KBC as most of the audience died laughing... *
tml_girl 16.01.11 - 11:16am
SARDARJI KE PICHE 1 KUTA 
JATI HOTI. SARDARJI TINK KARTI, MERE SIM CARD TO 'AERTEL' HOTI. BUT E 'HUCH' NETWORK KYO PICHE ATI ? HEHE *
vicky12 16.01.11 - 11:20am
tml_grl 
Achchha joke marti....:P *
tml_girl 16.01.11 - 11:23am
TANK U VIKY ANNA. *
miraan 16.01.11 - 11:29am
tumare language me amko bot maja aati.. *
tml_girl 16.01.11 - 11:39am
HEHE MIRAN ANNA AP MERE MAJEK KARTI. I JANTI MERE HINDI ACHE NAY HOTI. *
vicky12 16.01.11 - 11:52am
tml_girl,,,,, tumhara hindi achchha hota,,, apun bi aisa hindi sikhne ko mangti,,, 
mangta...:P *
tml_girl 17.01.11 - 06:11am
HEHE. VIKY ANNA U OLSO MERE MAJEK KARTI. I, ':P' KE MINING KOOB ACHE SAMAJTI. U, I KO PAKATI. I BUDDU(FUL) NAY HOTI. HEHE *
mujaheed 18.01.11 - 06:21am
Ek ghar se hamesha hasne ki aawaz aati thi.
Kisi ne pucha bhai akhir bat kya hai .
Wo aadmi kehne laga
meri biwi mujhe jute (shoes) se marti hai.
Agar lag jaye to wo hasti hai aur nahi lage to main hasta hu... *
tml_girl 28.01.11 - 03:21am
SARDARJI SHIRT KARIDNE EK BADI SHOWROOM JATI !
SALESMAN: WELCOME SIR G, HAMARE PAS SHIRT KI BHOT BADI RANGE HOTI.. AP SHIRT PLAIN ME DEKNA PASAND KAREGI YA FIR....
*
tml_girl 28.01.11 - 03:24am
SARDARJI: OYE.. HAWAI JAHAJ ME NAHI, YAR TU ITHHE DUKAN PAR HI DIKADE..
*
tml_girl 28.01.11 - 11:41am
CHOTI GIRL: MUMMY, HAM HUMAN E EARTH PAR KESE ATI HOTI.. ?
MUMMY: BETI, FIRST E EARTH PAR GOD, ADAM AND EVE KO BHEJTI HOTI.. FIR GENRATION BY GENRATION HAM HUMAN ATI HOTI.. !
GIRL E SAME SAWAL PAPA SE PUCHTI.. *
tml_girl 28.01.11 - 11:46am
PAPA: BETI, HUMAN FIRST MONKEY (APE) HOTI.. FIR APE SE GENRATION BY GENRATION HAM HUMAN HOTI.. !
GIRL DONO KE ANSAR SE CONFUS HO JATI.. !
E CLEAR KRNE FIR MUMMY KE PAS JATI.. AUR PAPA JO BATATI WO MUMMY SE KETI.. ! *
tml_girl 28.01.11 - 11:50am
MUMMY: BETI, I HUMAN KESE HOTI E HISTORI I, U KO BATATI HOTI.. AUR PAPA UNKE HUMAN HONE KI HISTORI U KO BATATI HOTI.. ! *
tml_girl 29.01.11 - 06:52am
The children were lined up in d cafeteria of a catholic elementary school.. at d end of d tbl.. was a large pile of apples.. d nun make a note n posted on apple tray.. Take only One.. GOD is wathing.. ! *
tml_girl 29.01.11 - 06:59am
..moving further along wd lunch line.. at d other end of d tbl.. was a large pile of chocklt chip cookies.. a child has written a note..
Take.. all u want.. GOD is watching Apples.. !! ..
*
tml_girl 29.01.11 - 12:24pm
u r in a boat, in d middle of a river.. u hv 2 cigarettes.. n hv to light eni one cigarette.. u dnt hv eni thing else wd u in d boat.. how will u do it.. ?
*
tml_girl 29.01.11 - 12:27pm
ans.. 1
take one cigarette n throw it in d water.. so, d boat will become LIGHTER.. using dis LIGHTER.. u can light d other cigarette.. ! ..
*
tml_girl 29.01.11 - 12:31pm
ans.. 2
u throw a cigarette up.. n catch it.. !
Catches win d Matches.. !
using d Matches u win.. u can light d cigarette.. !! ..
*
pagliiii 29.01.11 - 12:32pm
*
smam 29.01.11 - 12:35pm
Nice joke *
tml_girl 29.01.11 - 12:36pm
ans.. 3
take water in ur hand.. drop it.. drop by drop.. ( tip tip )
tip.. tip.. barsa paani
paani ne aag lagayi..
us aag se humne cigarette jalayi.. ! ..
*
smam 29.01.11 - 12:39pm
*
tml_girl 29.01.11 - 12:44pm
SAMAM G, ABI AUR EK AKRI ANS HOTI.. FIR U SAR FODTI.. HEHE.. :)P
ans.. 4
start praising one.. other will get jelous.. n.. khud jalne lagegi.. !! .. *
sahmeem 30.01.11 - 10:58am
Khuda bachaye hume in hasino seLekin in hasino ko kaun bachayega hum kamino se..khuda bachaye hume in hasino se *
0.pari.0 30.01.11 - 01:36pm
Santa : bada dukh hoya si.. tusi wife si maut ki khabar sunke.. waise kya hoya si.. ?
Frnd : goli lag gayi si.. mathhe vich.. !
Santa : shukr rabba di.. aankh bach gai.. ! ..
*
mahfooz 30.01.11 - 01:42pm
.... *
0.pari.0 30.01.11 - 04:44pm
Thaane me petroling ke liye 2 ghode ( horse ) mangvaye.. dono ghode.. costable santa singh aur banta singh ko diye gaye.. dono ne ek ek ghoda pasand kiya.. ab dono ne socha.. hum apne ghode ko pehchanege kaise.. ?
*
0.pari.0 30.01.11 - 04:49pm
..soch kr unhone ek ghode ki poonch kat di.. jis se dono ko apne apne ghode pehchan ne me aasani ho.. !
ek ghode ki kati hui poonch dekh kr.. thaane ke daroga pandeyji bahot gusse me aa gaye.. !
*
0.pari.0 30.01.11 - 04:55pm
jab unhone santa aur banta se pucha.. to dono ne baat batayi.. is par darogaji bole..
abe ullu ke pathho.. dono andhe ho kya.. jo tumhe dono ghode ki hight me 4 inch ka fark hai ye bhi nahi dikhai deta.. !
*
0.pari.0 30.01.11 - 05:05pm
..iske liye tumhe ghode ki poonch katne ki kya jarurat thi.. yeh keh kr darogaji ne dono ghodo ko baju baju me khada karvaya.. sach me, white ghode ki hidht.. brown ghode se 4 inch jyada thi.. ! ..
*
sahmeem 30.01.11 - 06:33pm
Ma(bete se)-myne tuje dudh lane bheja tha. mgr tu to khali hath hi chla aa rha hai. Beta-raste me 1car pi-pi- bol rhi thi isliye me sara dudh pi gya. *
0.pari.0 31.01.11 - 05:42pm
Teacher : maine sab ko ring draw krne ke liye kaha tha.. tum ye square kyo draw kr rahi ho.. ?
me : mam, mai ring hi draw kr rahi hu.. !
Tchr : kya.. ?? ..ring is tarh square hoti hai kya.. ?
*
0.pari.0 31.01.11 - 05:49pm
me : ofcourse mam.. ring square hi hoti hai.. agar aap ko yakin nahi hota to.. aap Mike Tayson se puch lijye.. !p
...................................
*
rafeeq02 1.02.11 - 03:38am
BETI : MOM MAINE SU A HAI KI DAD ELECTION ME KHADE HO RAHE HAI...
MOM : BETA WO MERE SAMNE THIK SE KHADE NAHI HO PATE HAI...TI ELECTION ME KYA KHAK KHADE HONGE....
ek chote nachchene muje kaha tha kal...lol *
tml_girl 2.02.11 - 02:19am
DUSMAN KO DEK KAR..
AJIT : RAABART, WAHA SAMNE JO ADMI GHADI PAHEN KE KHADI HOTI.. E HAMARE MEHMAN HOTI.. U JATI, INKE SECOND HAND ME BI EK GHADI PENATI.. TAAKE WO DO GHADI KE MEHMAN BAN JATI..
*
0.pari.0 2.02.11 - 04:55pm
Santa Singhji daudte huey bahar aaye.. apna mail box check kiya.. aur gusse me laut gaye.. !
aisa unhone last 15 minuts me 7 bar.. apna mail box check kiya.. !
naighbour ne pucha.. kya baat he.. santaji, lagta he..
*
smam 2.02.11 - 05:00pm
Aage kya hua tg *
0.pari.0 2.02.11 - 05:03pm
..koi baht important mail aane wali hai kya.. ?
Santa : yaar, i m working on the computer.. and it keeps telling.. you have a new mail..!
*
tml_girl 12.02.11 - 01:59am
AMERIKA : OUR DOG FOOT BALL KELTI HOTI.. !
OSTRELIYA : OUR FISH DANCE KARTI HOTI.. !
CHIYNA : OUR ELIFANT CIYKAL CHALATI HOTI.. !
INDIYAN : OUR GADHE GOVARMENT CHALATI HOTI.. !
*
smam 12.02.11 - 11:29am
100 post. hehe
*
vicky12 12.02.11 - 11:50am
TG AKKA,,, U HAMARE MINISTER KO GADHA BOLTI... YE THEEK NAY KARTI.... U BHI NEXT ELECTION ME KHADI RAHETI.. TO LOG U KO BHI............... 
*
tml_girl 12.02.11 - 12:19pm
I NOT SARKAR CHALATI.. I ONLI SARKAR BANATI.. E REMOT SE CHALTI.. ! 
*
vicky12 12.02.11 - 12:27pm
TG AKKA:... U REMOTE KO LAAL LAAL JUBAAN SE CHALATI?
*
tml_girl 12.02.11 - 12:31pm
.. OONGLIYO SE SAB KO NACHATI.. 
*
vicky12 12.02.11 - 12:34pm
TO FIR JUBAAN KAYKO DIKHATI?
WESE ABHI TO U KHUD NAACHTI...:p
*
rafeeq02 4.03.11 - 07:51pm
train ke toilet me likha tha ,
DUNIYA CHAND PE CHALI GAI ,AUR TUM ABHI YAHIN BAITHE HO ,
santa ne likh ke aya
BAS ABHI NIPAT KE JAHI RAHA HU , *
